A child's mindless rattle

A tooth-less rattle

Sunday, May 29, 2005
1:45 PM

I don't know how to begin writing..

Spent a bit of time thinking over this weekend. If I go back to being the me before, do I take the bad points too? That ambitious, money motivated me. I'm starting to think like before, and I'm fighting it. Is it a good thing? I always knew being successful will get me her but I won't want someone who loves me for those. I want someone who loves me as I am.

Had a talk with her last night (or is it this morning?) It was depressing, and at the same time painful. Glad we had that talk anyway. At least we're honest with each other. Truth hurts, but at least we're honest. Felt like my heart sank. Been ages since I felt something close to it. Felt a tingling feeling when she said 'I love you'. Thank you.. for letting me feel again.

Last night I so desperately wanted to rub away that tint I have. I wish I didn't do what I did. Maybe I shouldn't read too much into it. Maybe i'm just sensitive. Maybe everyone has thoughts like that. Maybe.. one day, i'll feel the same. Maybe.. maybe.

She's the perfect girl. Someone real, someone true. Someone gorgeous, yet humble. Someone wanting to experience everything of life yet wanting the simplest of all. She's all that I want, and all that I need. Irony is, I'm afraid. She taught me things that I forgot. She will also teach me thoroughly what a heart break is all about. It's part of the syllabus. Be careful for what you wish for. I guess only time will teach me how to let her go.

Today's a good day for cuddling and snuggling up. Nice rainy day. =) I'll watch the rain fall. Will you be here with me to enjoy this moment together? It's silly but I find it interesting that all of us, the human kind, is on one earth yet at this point of time, i see rain, someone else sees the sun.

I'm starting to believe in something illusional. How much am I willing to bend myself further?Just another day more. Just 1.

The End!